Writing up what's in tomorrow's Sundays is a slightly futile operation since, by the time anyone reads this, they're liable to have read the papers anyway. But it's 9.54 on a Saturday night, it's all very quiet and I've run out of Sarah Silverman clips on YouTube to watch, so here goes.
Rather like Sunderland South in a general election, the Sunday Telegraph is always the first to declare. Their splash brings glad tidings/apocalyptic news (depending on your take on it) that British shoppers will soon be able to buy cut-price alcohol and cigarettes from the continent without leaving home, "as a result of an extraordinary legal test case that threatens to blow a multi-billion pound hole in the Treasury’s coffers". The Observer says Church of England leaders want doctors to be given the right to withhold treatment from seriously disabled newborn babies in exceptional circumstances.
The Sunday Express says that "John Reid last night dramatically put himself back in the frame to take over from Tony Blair". Writing "last night" when something palpably didn't happen the previous night is one of my pet hates in journalism, by the way. As for John Reid - nah. Conversely, the Sunday Times reports that Gordon Brown plans to become a "terror overlord" once he moves next door, taking "personal charge of the fight against terrorism". The Mail on Sunday goes with a story claiming undercover American agents are "staging secret ‘sting’ operations in Britain against criminal and terrorist suspects they want to extradite to the US."
Both the Daily Star Sunday and the Sunday People go with some nonsense about I'm a Celebrity, while the News of the World reports that Britney Spears "is being held to ransom over an explicit four-hour sex video she made with her dumped hubby" (four hours!).
Much better story in the Sunday Mirror, who report that the multi-millionaire boss of collapsed hamper firm Farepak (whose implosion hit a lot of Welsh families) is already preparing for his own lavish Christmas – "with £500 cases of vintage wine for his mates".
Oh, and Wales on Sunday? That would be telling.