Some observations on the grand day out that was the Welsh Conservative Conference today, held in the miserable, pouring rain for which this fine capital of ours is so rightly famed.
1) Politicians shouldn't tell jokes. During the 1997 General Election campaign, the team behind the Friday Night Armistice took to the road, performing in front of comedy clubs using material drawn solely from party leader's speeches and having not given their audiences any notice. They went down like the proverbial knackered lift. This lot wouldn't do much better, although they did manage to raise a few titters from the dutiful delegates.
Nick Bourne: So landed and wealthy is Michael Meacher that when people ask what wing he is in, nobody really knows whether it means left-wing or right-wing or east wing or west wing of one of those country estates.
Nick Bourne: Rhodri Morgan was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
Cheryl Gillan: Peter Hain thanked his mother, he thanked his father, he thanked his make-up artist. In fact, the only thing he didn't thank was his Aga.
Jonathan Morgan: With Brian Gibbons' record of button confusion and in the interests of world peace, might I suggest that this man is not made the next Secretary of State for Defence.
Nick Bourne: To use what could pass as one of Mike German's very strangled mixed metaphores on a transport theme, the Liberal Democrat jump jet was becalmed in reverse gear, unable to get off the runway on the end of platform 9a.
2) According to extract from the speech David Cameron is delivering tomorrow, he will say: "In politics, before you get the chance to lead your country, you have to lead the argument your country. You don't just win because the pendulum swings, because you fight a good campaign, or because it's time for a change."
The Welsh Conservatives' campaign slogan is "Vote Conservative for a change."
3) What was most amusing journalists at the pre-conference press briefing on Friday afternoon? Predictably, this - the tale of Chris Chapman, Wales' youngest councillor, and his claims of drug-taking, stealing and general non-Tory-like behaviour on his now-removed MySpace site. Shadow Welsh Secretary Cheryl Gillan showed her grasp of da yoof, telling reporters she'd not been able to see the comments as she wasn't registered on YouSpace.
Still - we've uncovered the truth behind Mr Chapman's tales of derring-do and it's frankly hilarious. Read all about in tomorrow's super soaraway 85p Wales on Sunday, or, if you can't wait that long and are either a lorry driver or an imsomniac, tune into Up All Night on Five Live at 1am tonight when I'll be doing the usual graveyard slot discussing that and, among other things, teenage alcoholics, Russian spies and why Kanye West loves Welsh curry.